School: SSK12: Essay1 Graded

  • Posted on October 16, 2011 at 8:29 pm

>Well it wasnt exactly what she wanted, but she passed. nageena recieved a Credit:

Credit (C)
Good performance indicating a high level of understanding of subject matter; development of relevant skills to a high level; demonstration of a high level of interpretive and analytical ability and achievement of all major objectives of the unit; some minor objectives may not be fully achieved.
 Here are the comments from nageena’s tutor.

1
Task Fulfillment
Yes/No
Does the essay answer the topic and/or directly refer to the topic?
Yes
Additional Comments:
This is certainly an interesting take on the question; however the essay is on topic and shows innovation and imagination. Well done
2
Structure
Yes/No
Does the essay:
Contain an effective and structured introduction and conclusion?
No
Contain a statement of thesis?
Yes
Contain reasons or details supporting the thesis?
Yes
Develop in an organized and logical way?
Yes
Additional Comments:
Your essay would have been improved by a clearer structure – a good way of ensuring you have a strong structure is to write an essay plan before you start writing. In your introduction you need to include your thesis statement and your main supporting points then expand on each of these points to form the paragraphs in the body of your essay and then restate the points in the conclusion and explain how you have answered your thesis. Your essay could also have been improved by have a thesis that was more succinct (your thesis should be no more than one brief sentence which needs to be clearly stated in the essay in the form of an argument) and arguing that thesis throughout your essay which would have given you paper a better flow. With supporting points that built on each other.
3
Content and Research
Yes/No
Does the essay:
Focus on several factors and show their interaction?
Yes
Define the key terms or concepts adequately using readings?
Yes
Relate the key terms, concepts and readings to personal experiences?
Yes
Additional Comments:
Your essay was well researched and you merged your personal experiences well with the readings. I liked your use of in text referencing. Good work.
4
Writing Style and Presentation
Yes/No
Is the writing:
Fluent (correct grammar, spell-checked and correctly punctuated)?
Yes
Correctly structured (paragraphing, topic sentences and flow of ideas)?
Yes
Correctly referenced in Chicago style (‘in-text’ referencing and reference list)?
Yes
Additional Comments:
Your writing is appropriate for the academic genre and you have a fluent style. This is a well written essay that correctly utilises the required writing style. Well done.
Overall Comment
This is a well researched and written essay that shows you have put a lot of time and effort into producing it. If you can write a thesis statement you can easily argue and read your assignment aloud before you finish next time you should be easily able to excel in you second essay. Well done

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